Question: I’ve been trying to connect with the inner me, but there’s too much noise in my head…help! How do I meditate?
Answer: Thoughts can be a wonderful way to connect with the inner you. Practice observing your thoughts without judgement and without trying to push them away. Notice when one thought arises, and how it gives way to the next thought. As you practice, you may start to notice that thoughts rise and fall much like the waves on the ocean. You may notice there is a small space of stillness between each thought. Again, simply observe this, along with the coming and going of each thought and notice how each thought arises and subsides. You may practice tracing the thoughts backward–from where are these thoughts arising? Where do they come from? And as they subside, where do they go? Trace the thoughts back to their origin, and their end point and you will eventually find yourself connecting very deeply with the inner you.
“I always seem to lose my cool when someone triggers me! Often I raise my voice or take a defensive posture. Occasionally I’ll cry (usually afterward in the bathroom). I’m so tired of feeling overwhelmed! I can’t focus, I can’t get anything done. Can meditating help?
Answer
Feeling overwhelmed can be a symptom of stress, trauma, or even relationship issues.
In many situations, people ‘trigger’ us because they are demonstrating the same energy, patterns, speech, or actions of someone who has hurt us in the past. Consequently, many of us react subconsciously to this and don’t recognize the root cause of the trigger. Then we go through our day, thinking it’s one thing when it’s really something very different and we wonder why we can’t focus or get anything done…it’s a terrible cycle!
Yes, prayer and meditation can be very helpful for any person who is capable of some degree of self-regulation. I say that because meditation for this purpose, when done correctly, can help to reveal some of the deeper truths hidden from our conscious mind as you explore your interior world. This is not easy to face and can cause emotional disruption. This can be a very real and frightening experience for some, and most people will avoid this kind of deep work in meditation.
However, I can tell you from experience, this is the kind of work everyone should be doing in meditation if they have the courage. It takes true courage to look at the ugliest parts of ourselves, and recognize their true beauty. It takes true courage to take the broken pieces of ourselves and see them made whole in Christ.
If sitting to meditate brings up too much heavy stuff for you, then don’t do it. Instead, seek some help.
For some who are suffering, having a guide through the process can be beneficial. This could take the form of CBT, craniosacral therapy, or somatic experiencing. The important thing to do is to find someone you can work with and feel safe with to explore and express some of the deeper emotions that create these experiences in our day-to-day life.
Whatever you choose, don’t choose to do nothing. Don’t continue to live from the world of your subconscious, making decisions that even you aren’t aware of why you’re making them. Learn to master your mind through meditation, or get someone to help you through life’s challenging events, emotions, and trauma, so that afterward, you can feel comfortable sitting with yourself and enter into a deeper relationship with God.
A: Sometimes answers don’t come in meditation. Sometimes they show up when you least expect them, and often during the course of your regular day, after meditation. All you need to do in order to receive these messages is to open yourself to having the experience.
After you meditate, set the intention: God, I am open to your wisdom and teachings. I am open to hearing your message for me today, and I will look for it.
Then, and this is the most important part, move through your day with the expectation: at any moment, God will answer my prayers. At any moment, God will reveal the secret message I have been waiting for…and longing for.
The message may be found in the caw of a bird, the falling of a leaf, or the off-hand words of a stranger while you’re standing in line at the grocery store. When you hear the message, you’ll know that THIS was the fruit of your meditation. A sudden knowingness will wash over you, and you’ll think: “Oh my, this is the answer I was looking for!”
When that happens, offer your gratitude to God for the message. Don’t forget this part. So many people run off and think nothing of being grateful. Take a moment, and offer your thanks, not to some God who lives in the clouds and sits on a throne, but to the God who dwells within your heart, who listens to your every breath, guides your every step, and is constantly with you.
As you build this relationship through meditation, remember to be patient. All answers come with time, but sometimes we are not always ready. So do be patient.
